Last Wednesday was The Day: our 18-week sono. I had been told by several mom-friends to have a Coke or some chocolate about an hour before the sono to get the little one extra active for picture day. So I stopped at Mc*Donalds to grab a Coke before my appointment. The moment Lorraina (my sonographer) put the little belly-rolly-thingy on me, we could see this little form wiggling. Right off the bat, we saw a tiny little heart beating very fast (157 bpm). In spite of me having just felt it wiggle in the waiting room, I breathed a sigh of relief. Little arms waving around a huge alien head and little legs kicking and even stretching out all the way out. "Hey, I felt that!", I say to the wiggly baby on the monitor. So strange to see the baby move WHILE I felt the kick! But with every movement, I find myself relaxing more and more. The baby is alive, kicking and squirming and rolling around like a little dolphin in a pool of water. I'm amazed that the majority of the movements I don't even feel! I hope the movement slows down a bit before the baby gets much bigger.
Lorraina checks the heart - four chambers, beating regularly and soundly. She checks the brain size and shape - measuring about 5 days ahead of schedule and in perfect form. She checks the length of the femur and arm bones - again, ahead of schedule. That's my baby, already growing like a weed! But she has a hard time capturing the pictures to do the measurements because the baby is wiggling so much. A lot of them are blurry and she has to start over. I can see that maybe I didn't need the Coke after all. Already feeling mother's guilt.
And then...one moment of calm, where the baby rolled over into a totally new position...we see it. The little "it" that makes my husband beam and me start bawling. It's a boy! With a few more shots just to verify, we see our son. He sat perfectly still as if he knew it needed to register with us. He seemed quite proud to show us the goods while his picture was taken several times. Our son. We have a son. An exhibitionist, but a son nonetheless! Lorraina seems to understand the need for us to just absorb, so she says nothing. The room is silent except for my crying and Sweet Husband's sniffing. Neither of us know what to say, so we continue watching.
We see his little hand slowly and awkwardly reaching up towards his face. Lorraina zooms in closer with the belly-rolly-thingy. It's obvious that he's trying to find a thumb or finger to suck on. But since fetuses have no motor skills, his arm jerks and he smacks himself on his big head, making his whole body jump in surprise. We can't help but laugh through our tears. Our wiggly, clumsy, awkward little son. I can already see him making a goal for the other soccer team like his momma would have. I am overwhelmed and humbled and more grateful for that 15 minutes of witnessing this little life form inside of me, than any other 15 minutes of my life.
Baby Boy W finally finds his thumb! Way to go son!
A foot jabbed straight into the belly-rolly-thingy. I felt this one!
The money shot. Pretend you're looking down into his lap.
(Someday he'll kill me for publishing this.)
Psalm 139:13-16 - "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Father, I am so humbled. I am so honored and overwhelmed that you would allow us this gift. I pray that you please give us the wisdom to raise this boy to a godly man. A man that would give you much pride and love through his life. I pray now and will daily, that he become a man after your own heart, like David and Abraham of old. I pray you would allow us to witness that journey of his. It matters not that he's genetically mine, but I thank you for allowing my husband's family name to continue. The ninth generation of firstborn sons. I am blessed to simply be a carrier of that amazing blessing to my husband.
