Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Birth Order and Parenting

I read a blogpost a few days ago that talked about a mom’s parenting method having a lot to do with her birth order growing up. Something I’ve never really considered or cognizant enough about to notice in others around me. But it’s got me thinking a lot lately on my parenting methods and what’s good about it v. what’s not.

I’m a typical Type-A firstborn. I like schedules and deadlines, have an agenda, like being busy, have a tendency to be bossy, get impatient easily. I see the good and bad of that in my mothering techniques with JK, who is a lot like me.

Not sure if he’s like me because of genetics or because he’s also a firstborn or because of the example he sees in me. Eeks!

But it's making me rethink or at least be aware of some of the things I can do to make our relationship better. I can also see how my being raised by two firstborns made for a challenging household growing up! Three people wanting their way. Ouch! But when I compare that to my uncle (the third in four children), I see that his parenting techniques are vastly different from my father's.

So now I’m curious about other parents' experiences...


  • Do you see your birth order affecting your parenting technique?

  • Is your approach different with the children in your family or the same?

  • Do you see that your parents or siblings have a different parenting technique than you?

  • Do you think their birth order affected that?


Just looking at parenting in a different light today because of this and wondering if anyone else has thought of these things...

6 comments:

Stephanie said...

My birth order does affect my parenting style. I think since I am the second child I stand up for my second born more when his older brother is picking on him.

Alison said...

This stuff is really interesting. All of my closest friends are first borns like me. All of my sister's closest friends are second borns like her. I know that has nothing to do with parenting, but it's interesting. I totally see my children's personalities falling into place with their birth order. Caleb is the bossy leader and Deron quietly follows!

Leslie said...

Interesting! I'm never really sure what to consider myself since I have one sibling eight years older than me. Yes, I'm the baby, but kind on like only/oldest...

The Mac's House said...

Very interesting topic. I am not a first born child but a first born daughter, so yes it does in fact affect my parenting. My two other sisters are much more laid back about things that I am. My first born sibling, a brother, passed on years ago due to an accident and thus put me smack dab in the front lines of oldest sibling.

My siblings definitely do parent differently than I do to some degree and I did parent differently than my parents. Although with our "only" child she doesn't act like a first born or an only child, she's weird like that.

Thanks for the topic and the thought provoking question. Made me think this morning, a good way to start the morning getting the noodle working. :)

Pandamonium said...

I think it's interesting to note that both Kelly and I are first-borns (and as Alison noted, most of our friends are also!). I can see some similarities in Kelly and I that could probably be attributed to that - we have high expectations. They often fall into different arenas, but I've read enough about birth order theory and seen it play out in my own family, most of my students, and most of our friends - it's for real.

Luke, Kristen and Pierce said...

Like Alison & Amanda, I'm a first born & most of my friends are first borns, too. Luke is a third born - through & through. I've not given much thought to how that plays into what we do with P, but I will now!

My mom is 3rd of 4 sisters & my dad was the baby. I can DEFINITELY see how those roles affected how they parented. Maybe b/c we're on the other side of them having actually raised their children. My mom was all about fair, minimalism. My dad was much more about getting what you want when you want it. A little more picky.