Early Mother's Day

This past Saturday we had a garage sale. We're finally following some of Dave Ramsey's advice and purging/selling stuff we don't use. We didn't make as much as we hoped, but we did get rid of a lot of JUNK!

Afterward, we needed to get Monkey a new pair of shoes. But nature called in the form of four growling bellies, so we stopped at a local gluten-free taco joint first. I was exhausted and (unbeknownst at the time), dehydrated and sunburned, so the seat on the patio was a welcome one. The sun was setting, the breeze was blowing, and the boys were in spectacular moods. Maybe it was the margarita, but I had one of those slow motion moments that life throws you every now and then. I had a very deep awareness in the warm sunlight and raucous boyish giggles that I was immensely blessed and that despite any struggles we're facing, that God is Good.

So we don't have the money we want, nor do I have the secular job that feeds my spirit, nor do I drive the sexiest car or have the perfect pre-pregnancy body filling out the latest trendy clothes. But I have a dedicated husband and two beautiful boys that make me laugh and fill my need to be needed. N and I have struggled with a few things lately and have had to work hard to just live Life. But at that very moment in that little patio, I had a very keen sense that my Heavenly Father was right there with us...loving us, supporting us, laughing with us, and providing for us.

Even though it wasn't officially Mother's Day, it didn't matter. God was celebrating with me and the little family He's provided me. It was beautiful.

Earth Hour is Tomorrow Night!

Join me in conserving and celebrating!

Tomorrow, Saturday, March 27th, at 8:30 pm, it's Earth Hour. Set your timer! Turn off the lights, laptop, and television. If you have kiddos, tuck them in tightly to bed and snuggle with your honey by candlelight. Once they're down, pour a glass of vino, read poetry aloud, or trade foot rubs with your beloved. If that's not your flavor of romance, play a board game by candlelight or go for a walk and enjoy dusk! Or if you're flying solo (or choosing to fly solo!), draw a hot bath, light a candle and enjoy your latest fictional novel up to your neck in bubbles. No matter what you do, do it with the lights out and as many energy-draining appliances in their OFF position. It's only one hour...you can do it!

By working together for one hour, we can make a difference in this world's energy usage, and make a difference for what we leave our children by example and by lifestyle.

Go here for more information.

Share please...what are you going to do with your Earth Hour? (Please keep it G-rated!)

The Twisted Toddler Conversations

I've documented many of the adorable conversations we have with Monkey. It's hard not to be tickled by his musings and observations. He has such a fresh and funny perspective! But they aren't all cute, quippy little conversations. I think the latest mix of half-year development (which I hear is harder than year marks), winter cabin fever, family sicknesses and just plain ol' boredom, has made some of the conversations with Monkey a bit of...um...an exercise in Mommy's patience.

Either that, or he's a very fickle 14 year old girl in a 2 year old boy body. I haven't figured this one out yet.

Just so you don't think our lives with a toddler are all peaches and cream, here is a sampling of the "other" conversations that ensue in our household.

But before you read on, please at least consider the advice I try to take: Never judge a family by their two year old. Amen!

*****

MM: JK, do you want milk or apple juice?
JK: Apple juice.
MM: (starts pouring apple juice)
JK: (screeching as if his life is in danger) NOOOOO!!!! I want milk!

*****

JK: (yelling) Bubby, no take my toy!!!
MM: JK, use nice words please.
JK: (yelling louder) Bubby, no take my toy PLEASE!!!

*****

MM: JK, do you want a time out?
JK: (nods head vigorously)
MM: (picks up JK and takes him to his room)
JK: (wailing as if he's just lost his dog) No want time out! No want time out!

*****

MM: JK, we're about to leave. Please put on your shoes.
JK: (looks at me, but continues playing with stuffed monkey)
MM: JK, please put on your shoes.
JK: (stares at Mommy)
MM: JK, please put on your shoes.
JK: (walks towards the shoe box, but gets distracted with trying on Daddy's shoes)
MM: (more slowly and deliberately) JK, please put on your shoes.
JK: (ignores me completely, tripping on Daddy's shoes, falling and crying) I fall down!
MM: Okay, JK. Mommy's going bye-bye now. See you later. (walks out the front door)
JK: (great wailing ensues!) Mommy, I don't have my shoes on!

Really?!

*****

We are challenged daily with balancing love and discipline. It's hard. N and I come from very different disciplines in our childhood and we're trying to find a happy medium that works for our boys. With JK, we work hard to praise, praise, praise when he does something good. We do lots of high-fives and verbal encouragements, which generally works very well. But I have noticed that nothing quite stirs this little boy's soul like some good one-on-one quality time. Just a little bit of one-on-one time with him a day and he is truly the most agreeable little boy. We get lots of conversations like this:

MM: JK, let's go potty one more time before bedtime.
JK: Otay! (scampers undistracted to the bathroom)

"Otay!" Right up there with "I love you Momma", it's really one of my favorite words around here.

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for...

The GORGEOUS weather outside!
The sense of renewal that March always brings
The fact that the weather forecast for this weekend is sunny and in the 60's
My new purple mani/pedi polish
The fact that Bubby is feeling better today
The snuggle time I had with Bubby last night and this morning
Benadryl for my allergic hive reaction I had to another medication

And last, but not least...

TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS!

Yes, I know that sounds funny, but it's true. In my Wednesday Night Bible Study (Breaking Free by Beth Moore), I'm learning three important things that have changed my perspective on life's hardships.

One, too many times we claim tribulations are in our lives, when they are really just irritations. We make mountains out of molehills. For instance, I'm realizing my "tribulation" of not enjoying my job is really not a tribulation at all. It's a source of irritation for sure. But it's not a tribulation. Perspective. Sometimes I just need a little more perspective to understand my life is not as bad as my emotions make it out to be.

Two, in our teeny tiny earthly lifespan (in comparison to eternity!), these trials (or tribulations), are but a blip on the radar. I remember in college, looking back at my teenage years and scoffing at some of the things that were "gonna kill me". Ha! Man...I had it so easy and had no clue. Even today, I look back at my college years and my late 20's and think the same thing. In reality, Life was so simple then, but because of my limited perspective, I had no clue. I think in 10 years, I'll be thinking the same of my life today. But in Heaven? Once I'm up there and realize what hardships I had to go through to get THERE, all of this will seem like child's play. None of it will matter, but it will have been totally worth it.

Three, overcoming the tribulations in my life makes me beautiful in God's eyes. The note I wrote that Beth said in the video, "Being healed is more beautiful than being well." I love that! I realize this might be a lame analogy, but I kept thinking of my great-grandmother's antiques in her home. I could purchase a reproduction of the beautiful mission chair that I always remember her sitting in. It would be new and polished and without any scratches or marks. But it will never be as beautiful as THE antique mission chair that she always sits in. It is the worn scratches, the softness of the cotton cushion, the patina-ed wooden edges, the history of what that chair's been through that makes it so beautiful! That's how God looks as me as I weather storms with Him. I might be beaten, bruised, exhausted and worn. But I've survived some pretty heady trials (and tribulations!) with Him. And here's a thought...the more trials I experience in His name, the more beautiful I become! I know. What a way to look at some of Life's hardships.

With every low blow that Satan throws at me to spin me off my axle, I'm getting more beautiful and precious in Christ's eyes. What a comforting way to view my coming years! I'm basically going through beauty treatments for my wedding day with my Bridegroom. :-D

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:

Good, hot, strong coffee from Sprouts bulk bins. Kenyan. Yummy!
Gluten/Dairy/Soy-free coconut milk creamer
Organic honey-crisp apples
My Blackberry didn't buzz me once last night
My coworker that understands it's best to wait until post-coffee-time to come say hi
Spring is around the corner
A yard to dig into in a few weeks
Anticipation of warmer weather
My silly toddler that is so verbal and makes me laugh every day
My silly 7 month old that loves to snuggle and "kiss" (slobber/chew on my chin)

And last, but definitely not least...

My sweet husband.

Today is his birthday and even though I celebrate him through the year, today is HIS day. He is my best friend, my north star, my sweet sensitive voice of reason, and the only one in this world that loves me so deeply with all my quirks, sins, and off-days.

I have no doubt that when he was born on this earth...



...the angels rejoiced in Heaven that another boy babe was going to grow into an amazing Godly man and change so very many lives for the better.

Thank you Love for being you...



...for being Daddy and husband and friend and all things wonderful in the W house. Thank you for toughing it out with us on this side of Heaven. You are so loved and appreciated and our lives just would not work without you in it.

Thankful Thursday

Today, I am thankful for...

The warm sun
My silky soft scarf my FIL got in Italy
A job, I might not enjoy, but it puts food in my babies bellies
Health insurance
A short commute
Two beautiful boys that make me feel needed and loved
An amazing husband that calls just to check on me when I'm not well
The opportunity to pray for friends that are hurting

And last but not least...

Hope

There have been many, many times in my life that I've been in so much pain or in such dire straights, that I've lost hope. It's an awful place to be. You're usually by yourself. Or at least it feels that way. Even when you're surrounded by people, you feel alone. It's dark, it's cold, it's eerily silent. Even God is silent during those times. (Sometimes with reason, but that's a whole 'nother post.)

But today, I am not there. On most days, Hope is my constant companion. I can't really attribute it to anything other than Christ. He is my Hope. He has given me Hope. So I guess with those two sentences, one can conclude that He's given me Himself. Which is a true statement.

The Hope I speak of, is not the kind of hope as in, "I hope I get a pony for my birthday!"

"I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense..."

(Sorry...a little humor for you fellow Seinfeld fans.)

While I have hope like that in certain details of my life, an uncertain wish, if you will, the Hope that has become my companion is a deeper, more intense, solidified Hope.

Romans 5:1

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we [1] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith [2] into this grace in which we stand, and we [3] rejoice [4] in hope of the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

What's really interesting is the original Greek word for "hope" as it's used in Roman 5:4 is elpis, which means, "a confident expectation; to anticipate with pleasure". I kind of equate it to the hope a bride feels when she is engaged to be married. Is she hoping the wedding takes place? Is she hoping the groom really shows up? No. She knows. The reason the bride has this type of hope is because she has had a relationship with a man that has proven himself worthy of her trust, so she believes that he is going to show up and the wedding will take place and all will be wonderful.

If she's not sure of either of those things, then there are other issues at hand other than using the wrong term for hope.

So the hope described here is not the same hope that we usually use in the American English language we're familiar with.

So what is this Hope I speak of? I have a pleasurable, confident expectation that there is something better. There IS something better! Ultimately, my Hope is someday spending eternity with Christ and my loved ones in a much better world than the one I live in. But that Hope even bleeds down here to life on earth. I have Hope that God will provide for my needs. That He will not leave me, ignore me, play favorites of others over me. He wants the best for me and wants to give me my heart's desire. Could that be a pony? Perhaps. But not likely. What He does want to give me is a life filled with Goodness and Peace. Like any other parent, He will do whatever is possible to give me the tools to do what I'm meant to do...love others. Whether that be by encouraging words, a kind act, a sharing of experience, a hug...or sharing Him. He will always, always, always give me the opportunities to do this AND to give me the tools to do it.

What a wonderful piece of knowledge to live out in my daily life! I have what I need, when I need it, always according to His time and will. How can I ever go wrong in that?

Weeknights

In the chaos of the week, each day there is a little sliver of time that I call heaven: when Daddy comes home. Usually the boys and I are still in the midst of dinner, but Daddy jumps in and the the good stuff begins!

Playing...



Bathtime is a lot of fun...



...for some of us.



After baths the exercise routine begins. A.K.A "one little monkey jumpin' on the bed."



...although Bubby tries very hard to make it two little monkeys...



But being the little brother is kinda hard sometimes...



"I'm outta here!"

Fishers of...

Dinner time is usually the time we get a funny conversation or two with Monkey. Last night was no exception. He was talking about what he wanted to do after dinner.

I need to preface this with the fact that we have two outdoor dogs. Just keep that in mind...

JK: Go fishing!
MM: You want to go fishing? But it's raining today. Where are you going to go fishing?
JK: Fishing outside. (pointing to the backyard)
MM: Fishing in the backyard? But there's no water to go fishing in. It's just grass.
JK: (mulling over what I said)
MM: You want to go fishing in the grass? What are you gonna catch?
JK: Dunno.
MM: Are you gonna catch frogs?
JK: No! (giggling)
MM: Are you gonna catch snakes?
JK: No! (giggling more)
MM: What are you gonna catch?
JK: (thinking...) Poop!

Hmm. Yep. That's about right.

Thankful Thursday

Ten things I'm thankful for today (in no particular order):

Central heating
Umbrellas
Covered parking at work
The fact that I'm gainfully employed
My baby's fever went away last night
My husband that adores our boys
Cinnamon Chex (Thank you for the recommendation Fords!)
The crockpot that's at home cooking my dinner
Organic honey crisp apples from Whole Foods

And last, but DEFINITELY not least...

My amazing women's Bible Study on Wednesday nights!

I'm working on a lot of things in my life right now, but improving my attitude is one of the top three. Interestingly enough, that can't happen without improving my relationship with the Lord, which is AT THE TOP of my list for 2010.

The study I'm attending on Wednesday nights is Beth Moore's Breaking Free. CANNOT say enough about what I'm learning there. Not just from the class video and the book, but from the amazing women within those four walls. It's an intense study. Homework FIVE nights a week! But I have made the decision that no matter if my homework is done, or my day is bad, I AM going to that study every Wednesday!

The highlight of the study last night that really spoke to me: I MUST get in the Word every single day. If I don't, it's like going for a walk in a Texas desert loaded with rattlesnakes without a shotgun to keep me safe. My ammunition is starting (or ending) my day with quiet time with God.

The side note that I must mention that I LOVED, was the important of reading scripture aloud. Satan hates to hear God's Word read aloud, and in reading it aloud, you can make him completely flee! Wow...what power we have supporting us!

While I am not going to be legalistic or militant, I am going to just make this part of my new routine, like brushing my teeth and taking a shower. I do it randomly, but it's random because I don't plan for it. I haven't been able to figure out how to do this in the mornings, so I'm doing it before bedtime. While not ideal, every night I do it, it's a precious sweet time. I enjoy it! I'm so thankful for the changes that God's making in my heart. And can't wait to see what the changes will bring this year!

Mommy Happy?

The last month or so, Monkey seems to be very in tune with my emotions. I don't know if he's learning about happy versus sad at school, maybe? But anytime I raise my voice or get frustrated with him, he always asks, "Mommy happy?" He has asked me this almost once a day for awhile now. It's made me realize how often he must see a grumpy or frustrated countenance. I've been working on it, but the stresses of the period of life we're in sometimes gets the best of me.

The other night, he wasn't listening to me when I was trying to dress him. He was too busy dancing around nekkid when I wanted him to get his feet in his pajamas.

MM: (raised, stern voice) JK, Mommy said stay still and put your feet in your 'jamas.
JK: Mommy happy?
MM: No, Mommy is not happy. I am happy when you listen and obey.

He then grabs my head in his hands and plants a big sloppy kiss on my nose.

JK: Mommy happy now?

How on EARTH am I supposed to keep a straight face through that? LOL!

MM: (totally starting to lose it with giggling) Yes, Mommy is happy. Thank you for loving me.

JK: Tank YOU Mommy. (steps into his pajama feet)

This boy. Gracious! I later realized I was trying to quell his silliness, when I should have been dancing with him. I missed it! The opportunity to be joyful with him. The opportunity to make a memory, if not for him, then for me. God was handing me a tiny little wrapped up present...a sweet moment with my firstborn and I was busy worrying about making bedtime.

When am I going to learn?!?!

This adorable, innocent child desperately wants to be independent and yet wants to make sure I approve of him.

He is my SOUL in so many ways!!!

Lord, I am learning, please be patient with me. Please help me to remember to not stifle his sweet, active spirit. Help me to remember that in order for him to have life, I need to give up my own. It is by my example that he will either learn to love or be legalistic. Please help me to not let You down. Help me to not let him down.