Introducing...

...our son. The most beautiful child we've ever seen. We are humbled and in awe of this little work of art.



Born Tuesday, September 4th at 9:02 am via an emergency C-section. We actually started laboring about midnight the night before, so the induction was not even needed. By the time we got to the hospital I was dilated to 5 and within an hour I was at 7. An epidural was started and in about 4 more hours we were at a full 10. Everything seemed to be going wonderfully for the first 20 minutes of hard labor, but little J's heart rate started dropping. And then I acquired a fever. Just too keep his birth as stressless as possible a C-section was decided upon. And everything was fine. I don't remember much as I was pretty dosed up, but I remember seeing N's face and hearing him say, "He's beautiful sweetie. Perfect in every way possible." His voice was shaking with emotion and tears were in his eyes. I was so in love with N at that point! But I hadn't yet seen my son.

The little one looks just like Daddy and has his laid back personality. So far the only time he seems to cry is when he's hungry or needs to be changed. But when he does cry, he's definitely got his Momma's temper. Otherwise, he's perfectly content to sit and observe everything around him without a peep.

Thank you Lord!




We cannot thank you all enough for the outpour of love, prayers, and generous support you've shown us. A year ago we'd never imagined being this blessed. Never. And your support all this time since then has what has carried us through to today. Thank you will never be sufficient...but we hope you can see the joy in our faces. :-)

Nesting: It's Not a Myth

I've always thought that the term "nesting" was a myth. You know, that experience where women go crazy preparing for the arrival of a child. Everyone knows you have to prepare for a child. You have furniture to put together, clothes to wash, baby bottles to wash, other necessities to unpack. You HAVE to do it, there's no way around it, but going crazy over it? They were just items on a to-do list. What's the big deal? I never got that.

Until lately. I've had to alter my definition of what I thought nesting was. I've discovered that nesting isn't the act of preparing basic necessities for the arrival of a child. Nesting is the act of going above and beyond, overboard, doing irrational things that really have no bearing on the arrival of said child.

The nursery has been painted, baby furniture is put together, the baby bottles are washed, and diapers and formula are hoarded. The basic necessities of MB are covered and have been for awhile now. But this last week? It's been a flurry of activity in the W household of ESSENTIAL things that must be DONE.RIGHT.NOW.NO.MATTER.WHAT.TIME.OF.DAY.OR.NIGHT.IT.IS.

Some examples: The refrigerator got a good scrub inside and out when I just get back from grocery shopping. The baseboards have been wiped down at least twice this past week as I'm walking down the hall to go to the bathroom. The mirrors in the bathroom get wiped down daily. The linen closet was totally cleaned and reorganized in the middle of a Blockbuster movie date with Sweet Husband.

Yes, how romantic! But the first scene in the movie was so intense it threw me into a contraction and it dawned on me that I couldn't put the towels in the dryer into such a messy closet if I had to go to the hospital that night!

The pet closet was totally reorganized. The bathrugs have been washed and dried immediately after a shower. The shower is getting scrubbed a little at a time everytime I take a shower.

Talk about multi-tasking!

None of this stuff has to do with MB or will affect the quality of his coming home experience. But like my friend Jessica says, I got a "burr up my butt" to do these things at the most random and odd moments. And what's stranger is the surge of energy I have when the moment hits me!

Most of you know that this pregnancy has exhausted me beyond any other experience. Most days I take a nap in a conference room at lunch and then take another nap when I get home (from 5 - 7) and then collapse in a heap at 10 or 10:30. I have barely had energy to fix my sweet husband a sandwich in the evenings, let alone normal household chores on a regular basis. But this past week has been a little different. I am still easily tired. I still have to put my feet up and rest.

If you haven't seen my feet lately, take a look at Princess Fiona's feet from Shrek. They don't look that different, other than mine aren't green.

But when an idea to clean something hits me, I have to do it RIGHT THEN. It doesn't matter that it's 6:30 and dinner could be burning on the stove, or that it's midnight and I've been sleeping for two hours. If I remember seeing a speck of dust somewhere in the house, it is about to get nailed. And RIGHT THEN!

I think even DH is having sympathy nesting syndrome. He's gone crazy lately with his own list of must-do-it-right-now chores: fertilizing the yard, mowing, tearing up weeds in a flower bed, watering, washing the front of the house with a power sprayer, scrubbing windows, washing the dog. Like all of my nesting to-dos, his feeling is that these are things that MUST be done to make MB's entrance to this household a livable one or it just won't be good enough.

So. I've been proven wrong about this nesting thing. I don't mind. I'm humble enough to know and admit when I'm incorrect about something. Besides, my house is cleaner than it's ever been. The yard and front of the house is looking pretty spectacular. My dog smells like baby shampoo. I just wish I didn't have to experience this phenomenon for the first time at 36 years old. I mean...at this rate...my house won't look this good again until I'm 72 and I'm pretty sure that at that point I'll be too senile to really care.

Is my hope that MB will appreciate all this work a little too ambitious?

Lack of Ducks in a Messy Row

Well, unless God (or little MB) has plans of His own, it looks like we'll be meeting our son this next Tuesday! My OB just called and we are set to induce the day after Labor Day. Ironic that I'd be going into labor on Labor Day week. I'm excited. Nervous. Relieved. Terrified. Labor Day weekend has been a really hard weekend the last several years. Something devastating always happens. My little dog Henry died a few years ago. My friend Marla lost her entire world to Katrina the year after that. Then last year, the worst yet. The pessimist in me can't help but wonder...

Stop. I must have Faith that God will bless.

You know, it's funny. Most often we pray for answers. Concrete answers. Answers that would satisfy our curiosity, answers that would allow us to prepare better. And nine times out of ten, God does not give us those answers. I've never understood why, because doesn't He know that I function better when I know what's coming down the path? :-)

I've heard over the years that He doesn't always provide answers, because the answer is FAITH. That we should have FAITH that whatever happens has already been filtered through His loving hands...that nothing happens without His knowledge or forethought. That He will provide strength and a deliverance no matter what the situation. A hard lesson for us Type A's that prefer to have all our ducks in a row before something starts. But I'm very, very slowly "getting it." And this is one of those situations that kind drives the lesson home. I've always wanted to know EXACTLY when our son would arrive. And now that I have a fairly concrete answer, I'm kinda freakin' out about it.

Will we have the nursery done?
Will my project at work get completed in time?
Will I be able to get a pedicure or haircut in time? Like that matters!?
Will he decide to come sooner?
Will my water break in public?
Will we get to the hospital in time?
Will the delivery go okay?
Will it be a vaginal delivery or C-section?

Up until that phone call today, I've had a relative peace about MB arriving when he arrives. Please note I said "relative, not "constant". But all in all, I was really okay with not knowing. Now that I know, I think I'm more stressed out.

*big sigh*

I think that sometimes God gives me exactly what I want, so that I'm reminded that His knowledge of what's going to happen is what matters. Not mine. I guess I should get better about NOT knowing and just letting Him take care of me. So much to learn y'all. And here I am about to embark on one of the biggest teaching experiences of my life: parenthood. How can something be so exciting and so terrifying at the same time? And after all these years of dying for a child, how is it that I suddenly feel so ill-prepared to care for one? I feel a bit like I'm in an open doorway of a high-flying plane and I just have to believe that I've been provided a parachute without knowing for sure.

Thank you Father for teaching me that it's okay to not have my ducks in a row. That the lack of ducks and the lack of a neat row is a reminder that YOU are in control and that's what matters. Please guide us in rearing this child. Please don't let me forget that he is YOUR child, only on loan to us. I thank you so much for the opportunity, but now that it's here I'm a little scared. Please give us the peace beyond all understanding that you equip the called, not call the equipped. I feel very ill-equipped suddenly, so I'm trusting that You have a special plan for this baby that will overcome anything I could do to screw it up.

A year ago this weekend, I had no idea what blessings would be in store for our lives. But I trusted that you'd not forget me - and you haven't. Thank you for Your Grace and your Faithfulness. Thank you for loving us so much and not forgetting us.

Mr. Squishy Face and Birthday Week

We had another sono yesterday. The basic shots taken were measurements, so no cool pictures, except the below. Our sonographer was able to get a funny shot of his squished up face. Lean your head to the right and you'll see dark spaces as his eye sockets and a little nose and mouth beneath it. His double chin seems to be resting on his arms. Which goes along with his VERY chubby cheeks!




He's measuring around 6 1/2 lbs right now. Still on target to be a pretty healthy 8 1/2 lbs if he goes full-term - a full 4 weeks away! So far, it doesn't look like an early arrival is on his agenda either. I haven't dilated one iota at this point. Which I must honestly say was a BIG disappointment. I really expected her to say I was, even if it was just a little bit. Especially since he dropped last week and he feels so low, I just knew I'd be dilated to something. Seriously, it feels like if I look down there, I'd find a little hand waving at me! In fact, the stinker is sitting so incredibly low right now that the doctor had to push his head back into me to get to my cervix. Yes, TMI I know, I'm sorry, but...OWWW! But it was sure nice to hear the doctor say, "Wow. He's sitting REALLY low. I'm lifting his head just so I can get to you."

Okay, good, I'm really not being a weenie. LOL!

The only way I can describe Dear Husband's face after him witnessing this, was GREEN. If you don't mind, you might want to step up the prayers for his strength in the delivery room.

So, if he hasn't come in two more weeks, we're scheduling an induction close to MB's due date, September 7th. He might come on his own in the meantime, but just so I can get myself on her schedule we wanted to plan accordingly. Her personal practice is to not induce before 39 weeks (unless there are complications) or not let a pregnancy go past 41 weeks. So unless God has other plans for us, it looks like we're going to have to wait awhile for this little turkey to finish baking. While I'm so anxious to meet him, I'm overwhelmed with my growing To Do List before his arrival. I guess I should appreciate the time to get that stuff done!

In other news, I had a fabulous birthday. We have a tradition in our household to have Birthday Week. It started off with a lovenote from my dear hubby the first day and has since progressed to a great (cooked) sushi dinner and several presents spread out over a few days. Thank you to all of you that have sent me emails and called. It's so sweet to be remembered, as this birthday officially sends me into my late 30's. Uggs. I've needed all the sweetness I can get right now. My friend Jenny called and actually sang to me! As did my in-laws and some of my coworkers. My friends Sarah and Scott sent me a funny birthday online card/game where I got to shoot birthday monsters and every one I hit took a year off my age. So this week I'm actually just turning 21. What a fabulous game! I think I'll play it every year. :-)

What's so cool, is that I still have the rest of my week to enjoy!

The Waddling Has Officially Begun

The past couple days I've felt "different". That pain in my upper abdomen I've been struggling with? It's still there, but with much less intensity. I've been able to breathe a little easier and actually eat some without being in too much pain. But I've had this funny pressure in my pelvis that makes me feel like I'm walking with a basketball between my legs. It's a rather painful sensation, as there is a lot of pulling in my groin area, but I've discovered I can walk it off a bit. First thing in the morning or first thing after sitting for awhile is where it's tough. It takes a bit of activity on my legs for it to go away. But not too much, because then it comes back. LOL!

So...after speaking to some mom friends, I've been told that I've "dropped".

According to the doctor I met last week (not my OB, but another doc in her practice), he's grown a lot and is on target to be about 8 - 8 1/2 lbs if I go full-term.

Huh?

*gulp*

I have another sono and a doctor's appointment scheduled next Tuesday to see how close we really are. Although I want him to be as healthy and full-formed as possible, I'm really hoping it doesn't take the full 40 weeks. And I'm hoping even more that the doctor's measurements last week were a little inflated. I don't see my little body pushing out an 8 1/2 lb marshmallow, let alone a child.

Officially 5 more weeks to go. Just one more step closer to meeting this little guy!

Humbled

Today as I sit here and type, little MB is wiggling around like crazy. With every little roll and foot/elbow jab, I am reminded how absolutely unworthy I am to have this child on loan to me. Having helped so much with my siblings growing up, I know a few parenting-type skills. But those little boys weren't on loan to ME. They weren't MY ultimate responsibility. This child is mine. My husband's. Ours. It's overwhelming, humbling, exciting! In spite of the morning sickness, the heartburn, the great sex gone awry, and just feeling like a cow with lipstick most of the time...I cannot wait to meet this little guy. Kristen and some of you other mommas have said that every moment of discomfort is all worth it. And I'm banking on it. Because these little wiggles, rolls, and jabs already make it worth it. I can't wait for the real thing! Eight more weeks. :-)

Everybody's Kung Fu Fighting!

Okay, not everyone. But little Monkey Boy has been on a tear the last two days. Seriously. Sometimes I'm literally in physical pain. Usually I get a few hours of peace while he's sleeping. But yesterday and today it's been nonstop. He's been awake since about 4:30 this morning practicing karate or tae bo or something in there. He hasn't sat still for a moment!

Hmm. Maybe it's the chocolate cake I ate for breakfast? But it was such a tiny sliver! And I did eat an egg-white omelet before that, so somehow that has to even out right?

For you mommas out there, is it normal for a kiddo to be THIS active in the 7th month? If a fist pops out of my belly button should I be alarmed? Can I just poke it back in like an outie belly button? Maybe he's getting annoyed with all the Braxton Hicks action. Squish, squish, squish.

I keep imagining that Star Wars scene where Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and Han Solo are stuck in that trash incinerator that's squishing them. I know he thinks I'm the one behind the squishing and he's just getting me back!

Anyone have any ideas on how I can inform Monkey Boy that I have no control over Braxton Hicks? Or any good ideas for a safe sedative to settle him down?

I'm kidding people, I'm kidding! :-D

Maybe.

Everyone have a great weekend! Hubs and I are off on a mini-honeymoon for a few days. Our last trip before MB's arrival and while I can still get around without feeling like too much of a cow in 100 degree Texas weather. But Sweet Husband's still making me wear a maternity bathing suit* for a portion of this trip, so don't even think of asking for pictures when I return!

* Now there's one of those things that you mothers never warn us first-timers about, like constipation and incessant heartburn. Thanks for letting me know about how fun maternity bathing suit shopping is! I'll remember this I promise. Someday when your toddler gets an anonymous gift of a drum kit or a tuba for his birthday, I knows nothing. Nothing.

A Prayer Request

I hate to bring such trivial things to pray over here on this blog. But I'm on my knees right now. Literally!!! :-(

For the last two days, I seem to have some type of stomach virus along with a pretty bad cold. I don't have a fever, but I'm having a hard time keeping food down or in me once it IS down. I'm pretty sure it's not the return of morning sickness as I've been free of that for several weeks now. Mix that with stuffy head, running nose, watery eyes. Bleh. So, of course, I worry about whatever this is affecting the baby. Every little symptom makes me consider the absolute worse case scenario and outcome. My doc just seems to think it's a tummy virus and to wait it out another day or so while attempting to stay hydrated.

On top of this, my sister-in-law is in town with her three babies and there is the annual W family reunion this weekend, with about 25 people coming in from all over. I'm so disappointed, because right now, it doesn't look like I'm going to make it.

So please pray for two things: that I get better and this virus not affect little Monkey Boy at all; and that my spirits just have a peace about missing this special weekend.

I know. There are many more important people and issues to pray over, but I'd sure love it if you didn't mind fitting in one or two little ones for me. :-)

Test Results

Just heard from the nurse at my OB’s office. The AFP testing came back “clean and normal”, in the nurse’s words. *whew*

Chances:

1 – 8,100 Neural tube defects
1 – 3,200 Trisomy 21
1 – 32,066 Trisomy 18

Thank you so much for your prayers and emails!!! I’m not sure what specifically you were praying, but I really have felt a peace about everything. Not peace that the tests would come back so positively, but that God was going to take care of us no matter the result. I have completely left this one for Him to handle and really attempted to not even think about it. It HAS helped that I’ve been distracted with other drama the last two weeks, so maybe God placed that there for a purpose? Either way, it’s worked, but I'm mostly grateful for all the prayers! Thank you

Sono Day

Last Wednesday was The Day: our 18-week sono. I had been told by several mom-friends to have a Coke or some chocolate about an hour before the sono to get the little one extra active for picture day. So I stopped at Mc*Donalds to grab a Coke before my appointment. The moment Lorraina (my sonographer) put the little belly-rolly-thingy on me, we could see this little form wiggling. Right off the bat, we saw a tiny little heart beating very fast (157 bpm). In spite of me having just felt it wiggle in the waiting room, I breathed a sigh of relief. Little arms waving around a huge alien head and little legs kicking and even stretching out all the way out. "Hey, I felt that!", I say to the wiggly baby on the monitor. So strange to see the baby move WHILE I felt the kick! But with every movement, I find myself relaxing more and more. The baby is alive, kicking and squirming and rolling around like a little dolphin in a pool of water. I'm amazed that the majority of the movements I don't even feel! I hope the movement slows down a bit before the baby gets much bigger.

Lorraina checks the heart - four chambers, beating regularly and soundly. She checks the brain size and shape - measuring about 5 days ahead of schedule and in perfect form. She checks the length of the femur and arm bones - again, ahead of schedule. That's my baby, already growing like a weed! But she has a hard time capturing the pictures to do the measurements because the baby is wiggling so much. A lot of them are blurry and she has to start over. I can see that maybe I didn't need the Coke after all. Already feeling mother's guilt.

And then...one moment of calm, where the baby rolled over into a totally new position...we see it. The little "it" that makes my husband beam and me start bawling. It's a boy! With a few more shots just to verify, we see our son. He sat perfectly still as if he knew it needed to register with us. He seemed quite proud to show us the goods while his picture was taken several times. Our son. We have a son. An exhibitionist, but a son nonetheless! Lorraina seems to understand the need for us to just absorb, so she says nothing. The room is silent except for my crying and Sweet Husband's sniffing. Neither of us know what to say, so we continue watching.

We see his little hand slowly and awkwardly reaching up towards his face. Lorraina zooms in closer with the belly-rolly-thingy. It's obvious that he's trying to find a thumb or finger to suck on. But since fetuses have no motor skills, his arm jerks and he smacks himself on his big head, making his whole body jump in surprise. We can't help but laugh through our tears. Our wiggly, clumsy, awkward little son. I can already see him making a goal for the other soccer team like his momma would have. I am overwhelmed and humbled and more grateful for that 15 minutes of witnessing this little life form inside of me, than any other 15 minutes of my life.

Baby Boy W finally finds his thumb! Way to go son!

A foot jabbed straight into the belly-rolly-thingy. I felt this one!

The money shot. Pretend you're looking down into his lap.

(Someday he'll kill me for publishing this.)

Psalm 139:13-16 - "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Father, I am so humbled. I am so honored and overwhelmed that you would allow us this gift. I pray that you please give us the wisdom to raise this boy to a godly man. A man that would give you much pride and love through his life. I pray now and will daily, that he become a man after your own heart, like David and Abraham of old. I pray you would allow us to witness that journey of his. It matters not that he's genetically mine, but I thank you for allowing my husband's family name to continue. The ninth generation of firstborn sons. I am blessed to simply be a carrier of that amazing blessing to my husband.

Boy or Girl

Next sono is April 4th, which is just next Wednesday. We are very excited! So what's y'all's predictions? Boy or girl? We're waiting on getting serious about names until we know what sex it is, but if you have any suggestions, we'll take them into consideration. Sorry Kristen, but Hornbuckle got vetoed by Dear Husband. :-)

Funny thing: The little one is always active in the afternoons between 3 - 6. It's not a morning baby that I can tell. But the last three Sundays during Pastor Gary's sermons, he has wiggled and wiggled. Is that good or bad?

See you in September!